frustrated
- Well now that I think about it I have had some of my symptons come and go fo a while. I din't think about it till I couldn't walk without feel like I was walking on rocks that had ants on them while biting me and my numbness on my side wouldn't go away and it literally felt like someone punching me in the back reaching through and pulling one of my ribs out. I could barely work. My husband is the one that put his foot down took me to the dr.s the first dr didn't know what was since I wasn't an alcoholic. That made me upset. I finally went to a good dr, who referred me to a neuroligist. That dr figured it out, but referred me to a MS specialist. Now I'm waiting to just get some medicing to hopefully help me. I love my husband and he is very supportive. He helps as much as he can but doesn't understand everything, and is affraid to touch me. Affraid that he will hurt me. I just want to have my husband be able to hug me and not hurt from it.
- —Guest frustrated momma
How has MS affected your marriage?
- I was dx'd after 11 years of marriage. Hubby did not want to address the 'elephant' in the room...when I started to need help getting in or out of the shower, he would look at me as if I were nuts, and simply say, "No." Stunned, I would slowly find the best way to shower-taking more time than usual, causing us to be late for an outing. I would cry with frustration-and pain-and he would get impatient. I would say, "hey, I need help, this is hard for me today." he would look at me blankly and then the light bulb went on..."I forget about MS-you look fine, so I figure you are being lazy"...Forget? Ouch! It is still the same response, 6 years later, and I am starting to get very down...any advice or similar situations out there? I would appreciate your feedback. Thanks :)
- —Spitfire_Annie
my husband with ms cheated
- After 20 years of marriage and 2 wonderful teen daughters my husband left our marriage for an affair he's been having at work. He was diagnosed 10 years ago and we have been supportive all along. I have always worked to full-time to ease the pressure on him. He has a good job and has been hiding money and assets to prepare for divorce. We know the woman he is cheating with is after his job and will never leave her husband. My daughters are devastated. I was with him in sickness and he didn't appreciate me.
- —Guest alex
my husband with ms cheated
- After 20 years of marriage and 2 wonderful teen daughters my husband left our marriage for an affair he's been having at work. He was diagnosed 10 years ago and we have been supportive all along. I have always worked to full-time to ease the pressure on him. He has a good job and has been hiding money and assets to prepare for divorce. We know the woman he is cheating with is after his job and will never leave her husband. My daughters are devastated. I was with him in sickness and he didn't appreciate me.
- —Guest alex
GETTING READY
- I HAVE FELT SOMETHING WAS WRONG FOR AWHILE NOW. I CAN ONLY WORK 8 HOURS A WEEK. MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN GREAT. I AM AFRAID. I AM TRYING TO PREPARE FOR A NURSING HOME.
- —Guest NEVER U MIND
A breath of fresh air
- I was married 10 years with two children, was in an abusive marriage which only got worse after I was diagnosed in 2009. He never stayed in the hospital with me, called me lazy even though I worked a full time job and he didn't work at all. I had enough and moved out, he filed for divorce. I reconnected with a dear friend after four years and he is the breath of fresh air I need. He is there for me, he helps clean, helps with the kids and now that I am losing my kids to my ex because of the ms and no support system. He has held me when i've cried and makes me laugh. He is my rock and my sunshine after the rain.
- —Guest Txmom
Dead man living.
- I was dis. in 1994. I devorced my fiest wife when I came across something she typed in a chatroom. "I'm not living with a vegtable. Well here it is 2011 and the M.S is just now taking my life away. In 1994 the doctor told me I would probably be in a wheelchair within 5 years. I'm not in a wheelchair. I have remarried and have the most wonderful woman as my wife. She knew about the M.S. before I asked her to marry me. She said yes anyway. Things were good for a while, then the M.S. started to get the better of me. My wife does not undestand the symptoms and can not deal with some of them. I don't know what to do.
- —Guest Robert
I am at the end of my tether
- Hi will keep this brief if I can. I am waiting to be diagnosed. i have been ill for years, my illness has been getting worse progressively for years. I am stil waiting for confirmation. Been waiting to see neuro for 3 months plus..... My husband wants to be supportive but is not capable. He is a martyr who is always stressed and in a bad mood with me. He can n ot manage the home and kids and fulltime work but insists on trying to keep everything the same. i have gotton more and more ill over the past 3 yeras and he has no patience and understanding . I have to remind people that I am ill. My family treat me like I do not exist and I am so depressed I wish I was dead. I actually wish thye had MS for just a month so they could understand why I am so debilitated and ill. I cant parent my kids how I want to, they walk all over me and my husband. The life stress is so miserable that there never goes a day when I wish I was brave enough to Overdose. My life is destroyed.
- —Guest Guest always depressed and praying
MS And us
- I am not married but was in a loving relationship with the greatest man alive until he was Diagnosed with MS in April 2010, Life changed he changed He left me to go closer to his hometown and he erased me from his life, I love him and I want to be there for him I am really ilove with all that he is. What to do? I haven't bothered him much at all he said hurtful things to me. But I know this would not normally be him please What do I do I heard from him last week and I was so wanting to talk about everything but didn't to afraid, I told him i wanted to see him,,,,,What do i do here? Am I losing all together?
- —Guest carol
MS and Marriage
- If you want to know who you're married to, let the "In sickness" part of your marriage vows come into play. My husband started backing out of the Marriage the moment I was diagnosed. Having just retired from the military he could have gotten a job at any of the four military installations that surround us. He chose to take a traveling job, leaving my preteen and teenage daughters to take care of their disabled mother. He's gone almost six months out of twelve months. When he's back home in between jobs he does nothing. He will not ask me to go anywhere with him. I guess pushing his wife in a Wheelchair is too demeaning for him. By the time I could no longer drive my oldest daughter had her license and now take me where I need to go. Even though I am confined to a wheelchair, Thank God I am still very independent in most aspects. I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. This disease has shown me who I am married to.
- —Guest Deirdra
Re; I am torn
- Hi there, Guest Life Changing?... you said, "I am in love with her but not the MS"...I bet she is not in love with the disease either-and she is the one dealing with it. If she did not have MS and said to you, "I love you, but not your chest hair, and I am torn trying to overcome that." Sounds goofy, huh? Well, so do you.
- —Spitfire_Annie
Gone...for good
- I was diagnosed 6 years ago, and things went fairly well, until my MS began being visual, walking with a cane or using an electric scooter in stores. His pride was affected and he "became sick of living with MS". Boo hoo. He actually lfet me wheile I was still in the hospital! Now, while my life is a little more difficult dealing with everything on my own, now that he is gone, I feel much better. If he was ashamed of my scooter-use, and the cane, and 1-per-month-Tysabri, tough. I'm glad he's gone, now I can focus on being at my best with this monster. Actually, in thinking about it, HE is more the monster than the MS! Good riddance.
- —kattface
Marriage and MS
- My husband is the best support system I have in dealing w/my symptoms. He knows more about the diesase than I do because he researches all the time. Our marriage has not suffered at all due to my MS. I am very fortunate to have a husband that supports and tries to help me in every way. He is my best friend, lover, soul mate and the best caregiver anyone could ask for. Hope more MS pts have the kind of husband/spouse I have.
- —Guest Sharon Lakey-Jean
Blessed
- I was dx about 2 years ago. I have been married for 10+ years. This certainly was not part of our life plan but it has happened so we both just deal with it. My husband is awesome! Yes, our roles have changed. I cannot do as much as I could before but he takes it in stride and does all he can. I am fortunate that I can still work full time for now. The fitugure is overwelming at night which has made us major homebodies. In northern WI I guess you dont mind that much because of the cold. Our 10 yr old son is just as sweet and caring. They both take wonderful care of me. I thank the good lord daily for giving me the gift of them!!
- —Guest Jodi R
Alone and Scared but Steady
- This is my first post. I read this blog faithfully, however. Very real, open and brutally honest. I am not married but had a partner for 4 years. I could go on and on about what we have been through as a couple and the commitments we accepted as a team, but I would probably make you angry and cry. For years I thought I had tumors in my spinal cord until I finally had a full body MRI in November of 2010. The radiologist informed me of my MS. I wont even tell you what he said to me but I will say this. The man that I love and thought I would share my whole life with, left me and the house and all the animals 3 days before Christmas. I know that MS is a confusing and difficult disease to deal with and anyone that has it and the caregivers involved deserve kudos. I just started using a cane in August. Everything has been going downhill since. And if one cannot deal with the illness, dont stay around and be a martyr. On the other hand, remember your vows. They are not just words.
- —aawms
