NEW MARRIAGE?
- I was married recently to a wonderful man that knew I had MS but was doing wonderful while we dated for two years. He then turned into a bi-polar personality that won't take his medication because he thinks he doesn't need it. I think he can't handle the MS getting worse and is angry as well. We are currently separated and he has also had five mini strokes which the only ongoing symptoms are some tiredness/weakness at times if he overdoes it. I'm scared and don't know if this will work or not. This has caused me a severe exacerbation with IV steroid treatments and I do still work three days/week but can't afford to quit. I don't know what we will do if I have to quit work.
- —DEB.MS
Wife with MS and probably bipolar
- My wife of 33 years diagnosed 6 yrs ago with MS - lately getting a lot worse, always in pain, no interest in sex, throwing & breaking things, took a hammer to the tile in the kitchen floor last night - kids don't want to come to visit, her parents don't want to come around either. She says I am the only thing left in her life she can control - and I am really starting to resent it - when I do cook, clean, drive her around, etc., it's all expected - no thanks or kindness at all from her-she's just angry or sleeping all the time. I know she is in constant pain from her back, being a RN, she hates not being able to work, refuses narc's, is on 12 pills & a shot a day, yet none seem to help - she still gets around, but has to use the electric carts at the mall/store half of the time. I want to help & take care of heer, but keep getting pushed away, and don't know what to do anymore. Her parents say they know I love her, but can't really offeer any help either.
- —Guest Tom
Newly diagnosed
- I was diagnosed with ms a couple of months ago and I was amazed how well my husband and kids took it - they helped me big time. I was mostly worried about not being able to work because my left side has really stopped cooperating (walking is especially difficult) and I have no endurance. My husband just takes it in stride and fills in where I can't. My kids have taken over doing all the dishes and laundry and most of the housework (they are 10 and 12) and my husband cooks without complaint when I am too exhausted. We have more easy dinners like deli meat sandwiches and salads and keep going. My 12 year old son told me that he doesn't care if I have ms, he will enjoy being with me whether I am able to go on our adventures or if I can only sit and play cards or talk with him. They always pitch in when I need help. I am so blessed and I thank God that I have a strong family and friends to walk this path with me and I pray that He will sustain us all.
- —Guest Judi
He has MS but MS doesn't have us
- Some of these stories are so sad. I knew what I was getting into...as much as I could at the time. We've been married 17 years, my husband had mild symptoms of MS when we were dating/engaged. A couple years after our marriage he got worse, and progressively worse over the years. He spent 8 years getting a degree, only to be rejected by employers due to obvious cognitive/physical symptoms. I worked all the while he was in college as the primary breadwinner, that hasn't changed. I've learned to just do what I can, ASK for help when needed, let the rest go, and trust my higher power that all needful things will be taken care of. It's sometimes hard not to get depressed. Get a good support system of understanding friends and family. Set firm boundaries. Realize that the person with MS is probably suffering just as much as you. Be there and be understanding, but don't give up your needs. My husband has been supportive-but we've both had to adapt our expectations..keep communicatin
- —Guest Callie S
partner of ms wife
- Problems started 12years ago, holding on to me when walking. Now she is in a wheel chair and not able to do anything. She seems to be happy. She moved out for a year and we are now in process of doing over the bathroom and putting in porch lift and her moving back. Our sex life and social life to-gether is non existent. We are in our sixties and have to think of finances. We do care for each other but our lives have separated due to the illness. We have gone through a tremendous stress period with lots of adjustment. My life is nothing but work with no end in sight and very little social contact, although I know I have to change that sinario for my own good. She is envolved with MS groups for social events and I am not included as I am not allowed and even if I were allowed I have get more from life than just MS everything. Lack of communication on her part was the reason for her leaving initially, but has improved. I do care for her but I have to have a life to.
- —Guest fun 3558
Married to MS
- When my husband and I got married he already had MS The worst kind of MS, Chronic Progressive MS. He was able to walk with the help of crotches and we were able to do thingstogether, later on, he started using the walker, and finallythe wheel chair and scooter. He was in total denial during his disiase, from 1975 to 2008. It was hardfor him to stop driving, to use crutches, etc. As the disease progressed, he ignored me more and more, because MS robs you time. Therefore, he took an hour to go to the bathroom, 2 hours to get dressed, when he started using a catheter, he would spend 2 hours in the bathroom. I understood the hard time he was having and tried to help in everything I could. I loved him with all my heart. He was so busy with MSthat he forgot he hada wife, so I had a very very lonely life. He was a marine, so the last 5 years, when he needed 24 hours of care, I was able to talk to the VA at Salsbury shere he spent the last 5 years of his life. He passed away at 54.
- —Guest Rose Starr
Both have it.
- We went into our long term relationship knowing we both could become very ill. But we're making it after 20 years. It's been tough and rewarding. We're doing it one day at a time. Both of us are happy and content and continue to encourage each other!!
- —Guest richard
MS and my soul mate
- I met my soulmate last year and she relapsed in January turning into a "new normal". The first thing she did was break it off with me despite the fact she told me early. I did the research and knew what I was up for. I thought we were bigger than this stupid disease. I WANT to be there for her but she wont let me in. Help! Any ideas?
- —Guest tigerland
For better or wors
- I had been married 20 years and had two teenaged daughters when the MS was diagnosed. My husband says it has never crossed his mind to leave me. He hasn't just stayed. He hates the disease as much as I do but he is more than willing to help me. We began traveling as soon as I was diagnosed because he wanted me to be able to do it while I still could. Our girls have learned to be aware of others because of my disease. I have been diagnosed with cancer 2 times in the last year and a half. The whole family discussed options of treatments before I decided. . My husband and children all are often aware of my having trouble before I am. They are careful not to make me an invalid but they always help. I have many days of 'why me' because of the diseases. I have many more days of 'why me' because of my family.
- —Guest Catherine
breakup indeed..
- I was diagnosed at age 32. At first my wife was supportive but 2 wks later she started acting out telling people before I was ready. From there it all went down. She was distant as I was falling into a deep depression alone. I started looking online at extream videos of all sorts. Porn, ilness, violence etc. My body was down for 6 month and I was bearly feeling sexy to say the least. A year later I went on a trip and as I came back she told me she met someone and she is leaving me. That's it. I got sick lost my powers and ambition and my wife left me all alone with the struggle. She never came to the hospitals, refused to meet my doctor when asked and couldn't see me injecting. I hide. I later met another girl I was sure will correct this and show patience since she knew the truth as she came in yet I was proven the opposite: She didn't talk about it she didn't respond when I tried explaining her that she needs to be more gentle with me as I live in a state of anxiety..we are no longer
- —Guest kola
Stronger....and stronger
- My best friend and wife was diagnosed 1 year ago (but was spotted and ignored 2 years ago by military docs). Our relationship has been a rollercoaster to say the least. Both in terms of her coming to grips with her diagnosis, and me fearing for the future and having to watch my best friend slowly deteriorate .... Now though, we live for the present. We enjoy each other and the time that we have. I suggest that to anyone reading this. Help when asked to help but encourage her all the time.
- —Guest Jay
For Better or Worse
- Married (second for each) at 40, knowing wife's MS a possible big problem. Bedridden after ten years. Now in our 25th year. "Love conquers all."
- —Guest Doug
My Ms runied my marriage
- After I was diagnosed, the first few months were ok. I got into a really bad state of depression that lasted about 2 years during that time my husband was helpful with making sure I did my shots but I felt like he wasn't there with me. Never went to my dr appointments, my treatments, etc. I felt like he didn't want too or didn't know how to be there for me. Yet he never said a word about how he was feeling. Recently I found out he was cheating on me... So now I am alone with MS.
- —Katz1127
MS & your marriage
- I was so fortunate indeed to have found Dr. Swank's work when I was diagnosed. My then husband was a tremendous part of my success on it. He motivated me, kept all negative sayers & such- away from me, as I was too influenced by other's. He made it a "team effort" where we both learned the diet, went to see Dr. Swank, and lived the behavioral changes necessary to do this the RIGHT way. He was instrumental indeed, in my success. There is no reason to be anything but Thrilled beyond belief, when you're doing this diet. It will improve every aspect of your health, AND, STOP THE MS in it's TRACKS. Believe me friends...I've no reason to exaggerate. This...SAVED MY LIFE. Donna
- —Guest burgh_grl
Blessed
- I am a 42 year old female who was dx with M.S. about 5 months ago. M.S. has brought me and my husband closer together as I am so appreciative of his understanding and his help when I need it. Also, because he is an LVN he gives me my Rebif shots so I don't have to watch. I am going to counseling to help me emotionally deal with this disease---This has taken some of the stress from my spouse. I pray to God everyday and ask Him for the strength that I need to deal with this disease. And I will soon be talking to a Christian Minister, hoping he can help me deal with the crisis this has caused to my Christian Faith...I spoke with my deceased Mother recently and she said that I got M.S. because I was the strongest of her 3 daughters. Since she has lived in Heaven for 10 months now, maybe God told my Mom to tell me that. I am not afraid of M.S. because, if it takes my life, I will live with my Mom in Heaven and she has always been the greatest love of my life!!
- —Guest Debbie
